Mistakes
Wouldn’t It Be Wonderful If…
I can wrap up this advice in six words: Don’t be afraid to make mistakes!
I’ve made tons of errors in judgment, picked the wrong men to fall in love with and done things that I’m amazed I survived. And yet, because of learning from my mistakes, I discovered my strengths, and I found out what I really value in life and want to experience more of.
I spent so many years reacting to everything going on around me and thinking that my job was to smooth things over and make everyone else happy, even to the point of sacrificing my own dreams in the vain attempt to please. It took me a long time to come to the awareness that I was tearing off pieces of me everywhere I went. No wonder I felt exhausted and unfulfilled.
I learned that the real value lies in serving others by allowing Divine Love to flow through me and spill over onto others, not by draining myself in a misguided attempt to help people fix their own lives.
The bottom line is that after years of studying personal growth books, coupled with self-examination and working with my mentors, I’ve learned to take care of my own happiness first. That hard-won lesson taught me that I need to shift the emphasis on pleasing and bring it inward before I can help others. Once I recognized my own purpose in life and the valuable gifts I have to offer, it became a more joyful journey where my attitude of gratitude had space to flourish and thrive.
Wherever you are in life, whether you feel stuck and confused, or if you are already on a path that is soul-fulfilling, I invite you to keep growing and learning. Love the adventure you’re on, no matter how many twists and turns the path takes.
On my home office wall is a six-foot banner that I had printed. The background is blue sky with fluffy white clouds and bright sunbeams. At the bottom of the banner are these words: “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if…”
Throughout the day, I might think, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I sit at my computer and my creativity flows easily and smoothly as I work on my new book.” Or if I’m planning to see friends and family, I could be inspired to keep my focus on love, harmony and having a great time together.
Try it on. See what you can create by prompting your imagination to fill in the blank: “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if….” The more curious you get about what you really want to see in your life, the more the Divine will respond with love and joy in the form of positive people, richly fulfilling events and the results you’ve been longing for.
Soon you’ll be living a life you designed for yourself with your thought power — a life that is brimming with happiness and the calm confidence that you are living on-purpose. Let me know what happens next!
Live Full Today
If I only had only 500 words of wisdom to leave to humanity, before leaving this experience we call “life” for another, I would begin by saying this: tomorrow is never a promise, live full today.
There is no right or wrong. These terms are subjective. What works for someone, may not work for another. And that’s OK. It’s perfect actually. Because everything that occurs is an opportunity for growth, for learning, for understanding, for living and experiencing ourselves.
Similarly, there are no such things as mistakes. Mistakes, again, are subjective. And what we may consider a mistake one day may end up being considered our greatest teacher as we peer through the crystal-clear eyes of hindsight. Challenges are blessings in disguise; a chance to uncover our hidden fears and self-limiting beliefs. Our triggers. Tough times are a great way to learn patience, compassion and acceptance.
Accept what is because “control” is a false sense of security. Once you let go, and flow with life, there will be no need to force what is not meant to be. There will be no fear, knowing that everything is divinely inspired and happening for your highest good. We do not “own” or control anything but our own perception. Acceptance will ultimately bring you inner peace, and joy.
Accept people for who they are. And love them unconditionally. Love is patient, love is kind… the scripture says it perfectly. If the criteria spoken of in the scripture are not met, it is not pure and honest Love, but only a term and definition that society and culture has created. A guise by which to hide our fears and insecurities. A way to control what is around us. But, that is not real, open Love. Love is free, it’s flowing and it is absolutely accepting.
Love full heartedly, because Love is all there is and all we are. Unity is beauty; we are all interconnected. We are all one. One world, one love… we are all sparkling lights of divinity.
Through acts of love, serve others. Service is the foundation of what and who we are. A life without service is empty, void of the light that burns deep within us. Share your light with others; you are here to gift the world with this incredible shining light.
Nothing is personal. And nothing is about you. People see us as they are, from where they are. We filter information and opinions based on our own experiences. As such, these very things are very subjective. Do not judge; judgment, again, is so very skewed. And judgment pierces the soul as a knife to flesh. We are all one, we are all in this together. Judgment creates separation and separation is a fallacy.
You are your greatest love; treat yourself accordingly. With respect, honor, care and most of all, acceptance. Be authentic always. You are here to be you.
Love, service and acceptance can and will lead to the utmost of peace on this beautiful planet.
Unanswered Prayers can be the Best Gifts
Over the past month, I was subjected to an evaluation. It got me thinking about the mistakes I made in the past, the mistakes I am making currently and the mistakes I will make in the future because I am human. I always say, “When we know better, we do better.” My wise wing-man told me today, “Man, I can mess up a lotta stuff too– just human nature: make mistakes, learn, try again, fall down, get up, move on, life’s learning cycle.”
It took me 40 years to learn this and I’m still learning.
I have made a career out of doing better. You see, when I first filed for divorce I felt like that Gone with the Wind famous quip, “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies….” Except that I knew nothin’ about raising these boys alone. I prayed long and hard to save my marriage. I did everything I knew how to do, and saving my marriage and keeping it intact for my children is and will be one of my greatest unanswered prayers next to healing my mother from breast cancer. As many of you know, my marriage failed and my mom died. Two whoppers of unanswered prayers.
I think back to those days when I was building my company and my kids were babies and my mom was so sick… The one thing I lacked at that time was sleep. I was reading a compelling article today by my dear friend and mentor Dr. Suzanne Phillips on Psych Centralwhere she wrote “Every study has indicated that cognitive thinking, mood, energy and judgment are impaired when a person is exhausted.”
In my quest for understanding myself and forgiving myself for my mistakes, that statement gave me peace and not an excuse. I finally understood why in those days I was so emotional, so tired, my thinking was way-off at times and I made more mistakes than normal. And I can make a lot – crash-and-burn San is not without merit. I had a fender bender. I had bad fights with loving friends like my wing-man who only wanted to support me. Does it make me a bad person, a bad friend or a bad parent?
No, it makes me a hurting, exhausted parent grieving and suffering too much loss. In an attempt to mitigate the pain of betrayal and loss, I invited every expert I could on my shows – who I now know were the gifts to my unanswered prayers. During the midst of all this drama, I was invited to host two radio shows on motherhood. In front of me were experts in all the sorts of problems I was having, my kids were having, my company was having. It was a cornucopia of advice, support and guidance. It would not have happened if “crash-and-burn San” didn’t jack-knife.
I look back to the person I was and I am so thankful for the unanswered prayers. Even my mother’s passing, if she wasn’t going to get well and continue to suffer, it was a blessing she was finally at peace. I feel her everyday and when I am particularly low she sends a Blue-Bird to the park where I walk to cheer me with up. At least I like to think so.
If I were a stranger, or a therapist, or a counselor, I would tell “Sandra from the Past” that she did the best she could with the skills she had at the time. And when she knew better, she did better, so don’t beat herself and congratulate herself for bringing her shame and suffering to the media with solutions from experts so we can all do better because we know better.
When my wing-man told me today that it’s “life’s learning cycle”, it made a lot of sense. And, if you don’t want to believe it from me… listen to the old Garth Brooks song “Unanswered Prayers.”
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
Bouncing with Style is about taking ownership over where you are going and where you have been. Doing better because we know better is a universal condition. It goes hand in hand with kindness and forgiveness. It doesn’t matter the mistakes you make, it matters what you do after you make them. And your prayers may go unanswered, but know that some of those unanswered prayers are the biggest gifts of all.
Following Your Internal GPS
Have no regrets, for each decision you have made and each step you have taken has led you to this moment today. And in this moment you owe it to yourself to be thankful for that long and windy path that lies in your yesterday (because it is over and you made it!!) and to be excited about the unknown curves that will certainly come your way as you approach your tomorrow.
Of course, we each have an idea of who it is that we want to be, and what it is that we want to accomplish, and where it is that we want to go. But many things can happen on the road to where we believe we are headed.
Your internal GPS might say, “You have reached your intended destination.” And sometimes when we get there, we party like it’s 1999! Yes! I finished my degree. Yes! I got that new job. Yes! I found that perfect someone.
But there may be times when we reach where we thought we really wanted to be, and suddenly realize “Wow, this is neither what I had expected nor what I really want.” No need to worry or feel badly – just allow the road you have traveled to help guide you to your next destination. Reset your GPS and get moving!
Or your internal GPS might say “recalculating.” Oh, we have all gotten lost on our way. Someone told us to take the wrong turn. Something distracted us and we kept driving straight when we were supposed to have exited. It doesn’t mean you cannot get to where you want to go; let your internal guide help you recalculate.
Or perhaps, along the road, you saw a far better place than where you were initially going, like wanting to be a social worker instead of a lawyer or to start your own business instead of working as a nurse. Go ahead – reset your GPS to find this new destination. Do not feel bad, because guess what? You wouldn’t have even known about this new place that you now want to be, if you hadn’t started on the road to where you didn’t.
Or maybe you hit a pothole and blew a tire. Bet you wouldn’t do that again if given another chance, now would you? Yes, we all do things on our journey, like say things we don’t really mean or spending more than we can afford, that if given a do-over we would do so much differently.
SO WHAT! We all make mistakes. We need to accept these mistakes as opportunities to change that old tire. Each time we fix a flat, like apologizing or committing to a budget, lets us walk away a shinier version of who we were before we got that flat.
The world we live in is so beautiful with more destinations that we can even imagine. So there is no way when we start out on our journey that we will truly know where we end up.
All we do know is that there will be hills we have to climb and times we get to coast, days where we can roll down the windows and let the wind blow through our hair and days when it is raining so hard that our windshield wipers cannot keep up. But all the really, really good times and even the really, really bad give us the chance to truly experience life and to choose, with even more clarity, where our tomorrow will lead us.
And if you get lost again or miss another turn, just reset or recalculate and get moving!
How Can I Move Forward from My Mistakes?
“Could you please share with me how can I get over my past mistakes and actions? 7 months ago I had a terrible fight with a friend of mine, whom I had feelings for. It was a long distance relationship. Due to anger and rage, I communicated harsh words to her. I tried apologizing but she’s not ready to take my calls and has blocked me off all social networking sites and hasn’t communicated since.
I terribly feel her absence and I’m down with guilt. Every day thoughts of her keep running through my mind. I feel that if I’d not said those words to her, we would have still been friends. She’s a great person to talk to and be around with… She’s moved to my city and I want to meet her in person to apologize and seek forgiveness, to get over with myself. I’m not sure if she’s interested to continue. But could you please suggest how I can take this forward, as it’s causing a lot of mental and psychological pain.” ~ Neo, United States
Dear Neo:
Thank you for opening your heart and mind to healing this relationship. Clearly it matters a great deal to you. In the heat of anger, many of us don’t use the filters that keep harsh words from coming out and feel deep sadness and remorse for expressing them; so know that you are not alone. It’s kind of like a feather pillow; once the feathers fly out, it’s hard to gather them up and stuff them back in. Your friend has felt the impact and has taken a step back to heal as well. Has she actually verbalized not wanting contact, or have her actions expressed that to you? You have respected her enough to let go at the moment.
One thing that I have done when challenges have arisen in my relationships is to use the ancient Hawaiian wisdom of Ho’oponopono that focuses on healing and reconciliation. It is a way of reaching out to someone in the fullness of your heart, even if you are not in their presence. It incorporates 4 statements that you repeat as often as you would like. They are: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. As you say them to her, you are also saying them to yourself, since you have shared that you are seeking relief as well. Self-compassion is an important part of the process too.
Another technique is to write a letter to her, saying everything you would say if she were standing in front of you. You need not send it. You might also visualize her with you and send loving thoughts. Thoughts are powerful and can travel great distances. Sometimes the longest is between our hearts and those of others; but it’s well worth traversing. The toughest part might be surrendering outcome for the Highest Good. I have seen miracles occur when I have done these things and recommended them to clients.
Wishing you the peace you desire.
Higher Help for Persistent Problems
Why do we end up as often as we do in those painful situations in which the last words usually spoken go something like, “How in the world did I get myself into this mess?”
Sound familiar? It should. And while the answer to this woeful question should rescue us from similar future sticky situations, it rarely works out that way. This is very important to admit to ourselves. The truth is we keep falling into the same old snares. Why?
There is an authentic answer to this question that may surprise you. The reason we haven’t as yet realized real rescue — and so usually wind up trapped in a tangle once more — is because every time we ask ourselves how we’ve managed to get stuck again, we usually turn right around and tell ourselves the answer. And so the sad cycle starts all over! It doesn’t have to go this way. With a little closer examination and the help of higher ideas, we can see that we couldn’t have possibly come up with the “answer” that we did.
Listen to this new and true explanation as to why we seem to keep repeating the same mistakes in our lives: If we really knew the answer to that recurring problem of ours, we wouldn’t have had it in the first place!
Look closely and you’ll see that the answer you are always given as to why you are unhappy is that someone or something outside of you is making you feel that way. What’s wrong with that answer? Everything.
There is no profit in blaming your painful position in life on other people or an uncaring world. This is the solution your lower nature wants you to swallow, because it knows that if it can get you to see life its way, then you will have no choice but to spend the rest of your life struggling with life. This is its conquest. First it blows you off course and then it gets you to blame ill winds. Its very existence depends on keeping you off balance and looking the wrong direction. You can start seeing through the blame game by learning to let go of all the familiar but self-abandoning answers this lower nature wants you to believe in.
Real rescue from our problems can only come to us from above the level of our problem. And yet, in order for any solution to be real, it must be found somewhere within us, since that is the real location of our problems. The question then becomes how can we reconcile these two seemingly separate and distant notions, rescue from above and solution from within? The answer may surprise you.
Above and within mean the exact same thing when it comes to attracting higher help.
We can call this new and higher location of real rescue the True Self or our own undiscovered higher nature. Name this indefinable divinity as you will, the point remains the same: it isn’t what we call this compassionate intelligence that gives it authority over our painful conditions. Its power is its elevated position, which is above and outside of the lower nature’s sphere of influence.
This beneficent and loving wisdom becomes your intelligence whenever you refrain from attempting to rescue yourself long enough for it to show you that what you need is more understanding, not more battle plans. Temporarily abandoning yourself in this special way, where you consciously watch and so suspend the influences and activities of the lower nature by refusing to go along with its directives, allows authentic understanding to flow into the vacancy and give you real direction.
(Excerpted from The Secret of Letting Go, Llewellyn)
To Have An Amazing Life, You Have to Take Risks
Walt Disney’s first company went bankrupt. Instead of giving up, he headed to Hollywood with twenty dollars and a suitcase to start a new business. He believed in himself and his ideas. It turned out to be a really good risk.
Michael Jordan was cut from his sophomore varsity basketball team for being too short. He stuck with the game and ended up one of the best basketball players in the world.
Winston Churchill did poorly in school for which he was punished. He also had a stuttering speech impediment. Churchill went on to become the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and a Nobel Prize winner.
These individuals, and others like them, teach us that in order to have an amazing life you have to believe in yourself and take extraordinary risks even when everything and everyone around you sends the message that you can’t do it.
When you take risks ,you can start big or small, according to your threshold of comfort. Some people take giant leaps and others feel more at ease with baby steps as they build their risk-taking muscle. It doesn’t matter which category you fall into, as long as you are taking risks.
Sometimes you just have to jump into things instead of dwelling or meditating on them for days on end, because hesitation may result in a missed once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Just use logic and make sure you aren’t putting your life or someone else’s life in danger.
If you find that you want to take more risks but something is holding you back, or maybe just the thought of taking risks has you shuddering, get to the root of the issue. Maybe you are holding onto a fear or belief in your mind that is limiting and negative. Perhaps you don’t even know what is stopping you from taking the risk, you just know that every time you want to step out and try something new, you find yourself frozen and rooted in place.
This is the perfect opportunity to examine your beliefs about risks, failure, and making mistakes. Also notice and become aware of your beliefs and thoughts about yourself and your abilities.
A person might take a risk and make a mistake, but it isn’t a failure until he or she decides that it is a failure and starts beating themselves up about it.
Are you worried about what other people might think of you? How do you measure success? Do you fear success? Are you dealing with lack of self-confidence and self-worth? Negative and limiting beliefs in any or all of these areas need to be uprooted, re-engineered, and replaced with positive beliefs in order to start moving forward.
It’s important to believe in yourself and to take risks. Holding a mind full of positive beliefs will support, encourage and propel you forward. When you start taking risks, jumping on opportunities and accepting challenges, amazing things begin to happen: an amazing life unfolds and at the center of that is an amazing person. That amazing person is you.
The 5 Mind and Energetic Mistakes That Cost You Thousands!
Our minds are the greatest tool we have and without the proper use of our mental energy, mental creativity and right mindset opportunities for mistakes arise. Those mistakes or missed opportunities lead to thousands of dollars in lost revenue and hundreds of hours of lost time.
Here are the mindset mistakes we make:
- Allowing others to steal your vision and your energy.
- Being overwhelmed because too many projects press on you that all seem important.
- Keeping the employee or contractor that is the least productive and who takes the greatest amount of your time.
- Refusal to delegate.
- Not asking for the money.
When your vision and purpose is getting interference from others is when you are at your weakest. This setting takes energy, time and money right out of our pockets.
Our mind creates the opportunity and it also creates the obstacle. When an obstacle is created by fear, we are imprinting that into every facet of our lives. We have many unhealthy mental beliefs that are important to release in order to achieve our highest potential and earn many thousands of dollars.
To step into your greatness and fullness of energy, mental clarity, and earning capacity and to achieve results, you must get clear minded. The clearer you are mentally the more clear your results. Better yet, the clearer your energy field is the more clear your mind and the more quickly the results just begin to appear.
There is no right or wrong. These terms are subjective. What works for someone, may not work for another. And that’s OK. It’s perfect actually. Because everything that occurs is an opportunity for growth, for learning, for understanding, for living and experiencing ourselves.
Similarly, there are no such things as mistakes. Mistakes, again, are subjective. And what we may consider a mistake one day may end up being considered our greatest teacher as we peer through the crystal-clear eyes of hindsight. Challenges are blessings in disguise; a chance to uncover our hidden fears and self-limiting beliefs. Our triggers. Tough times are a great way to learn patience, compassion and acceptance.
Accept what is because “control” is a false sense of security. Once you let go, and flow with life, there will be no need to force what is not meant to be. There will be no fear, knowing that everything is divinely inspired and happening for your highest good. We do not “own” or control anything but our own perception. Acceptance will ultimately bring you inner peace, and joy.
Accept people for who they are. And love them unconditionally. Love is patient, love is kind… the scripture says it perfectly. If the criteria spoken of in the scripture are not met, it is not pure and honest Love, but only a term and definition that society and culture has created. A guise by which to hide our fears and insecurities. A way to control what is around us. But, that is not real, open Love. Love is free, it’s flowing and it is absolutely accepting.
Love full heartedly, because Love is all there is and all we are. Unity is beauty; we are all interconnected. We are all one. One world, one love… we are all sparkling lights of divinity.
Through acts of love, serve others. Service is the foundation of what and who we are. A life without service is empty, void of the light that burns deep within us. Share your light with others; you are here to gift the world with this incredible shining light.
Nothing is personal. And nothing is about you. People see us as they are, from where they are. We filter information and opinions based on our own experiences. As such, these very things are very subjective. Do not judge; judgment, again, is so very skewed. And judgment pierces the soul as a knife to flesh. We are all one, we are all in this together. Judgment creates separation and separation is a fallacy.
You are your greatest love; treat yourself accordingly. With respect, honor, care and most of all, acceptance. Be authentic always. You are here to be you.
Love, service and acceptance can and will lead to the utmost of peace on this beautiful planet.
Unanswered Prayers can be the Best Gifts
Over the past month, I was subjected to an evaluation. It got me thinking about the mistakes I made in the past, the mistakes I am making currently and the mistakes I will make in the future because I am human. I always say, “When we know better, we do better.” My wise wing-man told me today, “Man, I can mess up a lotta stuff too– just human nature: make mistakes, learn, try again, fall down, get up, move on, life’s learning cycle.”
It took me 40 years to learn this and I’m still learning.
I have made a career out of doing better. You see, when I first filed for divorce I felt like that Gone with the Wind famous quip, “I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies….” Except that I knew nothin’ about raising these boys alone. I prayed long and hard to save my marriage. I did everything I knew how to do, and saving my marriage and keeping it intact for my children is and will be one of my greatest unanswered prayers next to healing my mother from breast cancer. As many of you know, my marriage failed and my mom died. Two whoppers of unanswered prayers.
I think back to those days when I was building my company and my kids were babies and my mom was so sick… The one thing I lacked at that time was sleep. I was reading a compelling article today by my dear friend and mentor Dr. Suzanne Phillips on Psych Centralwhere she wrote “Every study has indicated that cognitive thinking, mood, energy and judgment are impaired when a person is exhausted.”
In my quest for understanding myself and forgiving myself for my mistakes, that statement gave me peace and not an excuse. I finally understood why in those days I was so emotional, so tired, my thinking was way-off at times and I made more mistakes than normal. And I can make a lot – crash-and-burn San is not without merit. I had a fender bender. I had bad fights with loving friends like my wing-man who only wanted to support me. Does it make me a bad person, a bad friend or a bad parent?
No, it makes me a hurting, exhausted parent grieving and suffering too much loss. In an attempt to mitigate the pain of betrayal and loss, I invited every expert I could on my shows – who I now know were the gifts to my unanswered prayers. During the midst of all this drama, I was invited to host two radio shows on motherhood. In front of me were experts in all the sorts of problems I was having, my kids were having, my company was having. It was a cornucopia of advice, support and guidance. It would not have happened if “crash-and-burn San” didn’t jack-knife.
I look back to the person I was and I am so thankful for the unanswered prayers. Even my mother’s passing, if she wasn’t going to get well and continue to suffer, it was a blessing she was finally at peace. I feel her everyday and when I am particularly low she sends a Blue-Bird to the park where I walk to cheer me with up. At least I like to think so.
If I were a stranger, or a therapist, or a counselor, I would tell “Sandra from the Past” that she did the best she could with the skills she had at the time. And when she knew better, she did better, so don’t beat herself and congratulate herself for bringing her shame and suffering to the media with solutions from experts so we can all do better because we know better.
When my wing-man told me today that it’s “life’s learning cycle”, it made a lot of sense. And, if you don’t want to believe it from me… listen to the old Garth Brooks song “Unanswered Prayers.”
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
Bouncing with Style is about taking ownership over where you are going and where you have been. Doing better because we know better is a universal condition. It goes hand in hand with kindness and forgiveness. It doesn’t matter the mistakes you make, it matters what you do after you make them. And your prayers may go unanswered, but know that some of those unanswered prayers are the biggest gifts of all.
Following Your Internal GPS
Have no regrets, for each decision you have made and each step you have taken has led you to this moment today. And in this moment you owe it to yourself to be thankful for that long and windy path that lies in your yesterday (because it is over and you made it!!) and to be excited about the unknown curves that will certainly come your way as you approach your tomorrow.
Of course, we each have an idea of who it is that we want to be, and what it is that we want to accomplish, and where it is that we want to go. But many things can happen on the road to where we believe we are headed.
Your internal GPS might say, “You have reached your intended destination.” And sometimes when we get there, we party like it’s 1999! Yes! I finished my degree. Yes! I got that new job. Yes! I found that perfect someone.
But there may be times when we reach where we thought we really wanted to be, and suddenly realize “Wow, this is neither what I had expected nor what I really want.” No need to worry or feel badly – just allow the road you have traveled to help guide you to your next destination. Reset your GPS and get moving!
Or your internal GPS might say “recalculating.” Oh, we have all gotten lost on our way. Someone told us to take the wrong turn. Something distracted us and we kept driving straight when we were supposed to have exited. It doesn’t mean you cannot get to where you want to go; let your internal guide help you recalculate.
Or perhaps, along the road, you saw a far better place than where you were initially going, like wanting to be a social worker instead of a lawyer or to start your own business instead of working as a nurse. Go ahead – reset your GPS to find this new destination. Do not feel bad, because guess what? You wouldn’t have even known about this new place that you now want to be, if you hadn’t started on the road to where you didn’t.
Or maybe you hit a pothole and blew a tire. Bet you wouldn’t do that again if given another chance, now would you? Yes, we all do things on our journey, like say things we don’t really mean or spending more than we can afford, that if given a do-over we would do so much differently.
SO WHAT! We all make mistakes. We need to accept these mistakes as opportunities to change that old tire. Each time we fix a flat, like apologizing or committing to a budget, lets us walk away a shinier version of who we were before we got that flat.
The world we live in is so beautiful with more destinations that we can even imagine. So there is no way when we start out on our journey that we will truly know where we end up.
All we do know is that there will be hills we have to climb and times we get to coast, days where we can roll down the windows and let the wind blow through our hair and days when it is raining so hard that our windshield wipers cannot keep up. But all the really, really good times and even the really, really bad give us the chance to truly experience life and to choose, with even more clarity, where our tomorrow will lead us.
And if you get lost again or miss another turn, just reset or recalculate and get moving!
How Can I Move Forward from My Mistakes?
“Could you please share with me how can I get over my past mistakes and actions? 7 months ago I had a terrible fight with a friend of mine, whom I had feelings for. It was a long distance relationship. Due to anger and rage, I communicated harsh words to her. I tried apologizing but she’s not ready to take my calls and has blocked me off all social networking sites and hasn’t communicated since.
I terribly feel her absence and I’m down with guilt. Every day thoughts of her keep running through my mind. I feel that if I’d not said those words to her, we would have still been friends. She’s a great person to talk to and be around with… She’s moved to my city and I want to meet her in person to apologize and seek forgiveness, to get over with myself. I’m not sure if she’s interested to continue. But could you please suggest how I can take this forward, as it’s causing a lot of mental and psychological pain.” ~ Neo, United States
Dear Neo:
Thank you for opening your heart and mind to healing this relationship. Clearly it matters a great deal to you. In the heat of anger, many of us don’t use the filters that keep harsh words from coming out and feel deep sadness and remorse for expressing them; so know that you are not alone. It’s kind of like a feather pillow; once the feathers fly out, it’s hard to gather them up and stuff them back in. Your friend has felt the impact and has taken a step back to heal as well. Has she actually verbalized not wanting contact, or have her actions expressed that to you? You have respected her enough to let go at the moment.
One thing that I have done when challenges have arisen in my relationships is to use the ancient Hawaiian wisdom of Ho’oponopono that focuses on healing and reconciliation. It is a way of reaching out to someone in the fullness of your heart, even if you are not in their presence. It incorporates 4 statements that you repeat as often as you would like. They are: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you. As you say them to her, you are also saying them to yourself, since you have shared that you are seeking relief as well. Self-compassion is an important part of the process too.
Another technique is to write a letter to her, saying everything you would say if she were standing in front of you. You need not send it. You might also visualize her with you and send loving thoughts. Thoughts are powerful and can travel great distances. Sometimes the longest is between our hearts and those of others; but it’s well worth traversing. The toughest part might be surrendering outcome for the Highest Good. I have seen miracles occur when I have done these things and recommended them to clients.
Wishing you the peace you desire.
Higher Help for Persistent Problems
Why do we end up as often as we do in those painful situations in which the last words usually spoken go something like, “How in the world did I get myself into this mess?”
Sound familiar? It should. And while the answer to this woeful question should rescue us from similar future sticky situations, it rarely works out that way. This is very important to admit to ourselves. The truth is we keep falling into the same old snares. Why?
There is an authentic answer to this question that may surprise you. The reason we haven’t as yet realized real rescue — and so usually wind up trapped in a tangle once more — is because every time we ask ourselves how we’ve managed to get stuck again, we usually turn right around and tell ourselves the answer. And so the sad cycle starts all over! It doesn’t have to go this way. With a little closer examination and the help of higher ideas, we can see that we couldn’t have possibly come up with the “answer” that we did.
Listen to this new and true explanation as to why we seem to keep repeating the same mistakes in our lives: If we really knew the answer to that recurring problem of ours, we wouldn’t have had it in the first place!
Look closely and you’ll see that the answer you are always given as to why you are unhappy is that someone or something outside of you is making you feel that way. What’s wrong with that answer? Everything.
There is no profit in blaming your painful position in life on other people or an uncaring world. This is the solution your lower nature wants you to swallow, because it knows that if it can get you to see life its way, then you will have no choice but to spend the rest of your life struggling with life. This is its conquest. First it blows you off course and then it gets you to blame ill winds. Its very existence depends on keeping you off balance and looking the wrong direction. You can start seeing through the blame game by learning to let go of all the familiar but self-abandoning answers this lower nature wants you to believe in.
Real rescue from our problems can only come to us from above the level of our problem. And yet, in order for any solution to be real, it must be found somewhere within us, since that is the real location of our problems. The question then becomes how can we reconcile these two seemingly separate and distant notions, rescue from above and solution from within? The answer may surprise you.
Above and within mean the exact same thing when it comes to attracting higher help.
We can call this new and higher location of real rescue the True Self or our own undiscovered higher nature. Name this indefinable divinity as you will, the point remains the same: it isn’t what we call this compassionate intelligence that gives it authority over our painful conditions. Its power is its elevated position, which is above and outside of the lower nature’s sphere of influence.
This beneficent and loving wisdom becomes your intelligence whenever you refrain from attempting to rescue yourself long enough for it to show you that what you need is more understanding, not more battle plans. Temporarily abandoning yourself in this special way, where you consciously watch and so suspend the influences and activities of the lower nature by refusing to go along with its directives, allows authentic understanding to flow into the vacancy and give you real direction.
(Excerpted from The Secret of Letting Go, Llewellyn)
To Have An Amazing Life, You Have to Take Risks
Walt Disney’s first company went bankrupt. Instead of giving up, he headed to Hollywood with twenty dollars and a suitcase to start a new business. He believed in himself and his ideas. It turned out to be a really good risk.
Michael Jordan was cut from his sophomore varsity basketball team for being too short. He stuck with the game and ended up one of the best basketball players in the world.
Winston Churchill did poorly in school for which he was punished. He also had a stuttering speech impediment. Churchill went on to become the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and a Nobel Prize winner.
These individuals, and others like them, teach us that in order to have an amazing life you have to believe in yourself and take extraordinary risks even when everything and everyone around you sends the message that you can’t do it.
When you take risks ,you can start big or small, according to your threshold of comfort. Some people take giant leaps and others feel more at ease with baby steps as they build their risk-taking muscle. It doesn’t matter which category you fall into, as long as you are taking risks.
Sometimes you just have to jump into things instead of dwelling or meditating on them for days on end, because hesitation may result in a missed once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Just use logic and make sure you aren’t putting your life or someone else’s life in danger.
If you find that you want to take more risks but something is holding you back, or maybe just the thought of taking risks has you shuddering, get to the root of the issue. Maybe you are holding onto a fear or belief in your mind that is limiting and negative. Perhaps you don’t even know what is stopping you from taking the risk, you just know that every time you want to step out and try something new, you find yourself frozen and rooted in place.
This is the perfect opportunity to examine your beliefs about risks, failure, and making mistakes. Also notice and become aware of your beliefs and thoughts about yourself and your abilities.
A person might take a risk and make a mistake, but it isn’t a failure until he or she decides that it is a failure and starts beating themselves up about it.
Are you worried about what other people might think of you? How do you measure success? Do you fear success? Are you dealing with lack of self-confidence and self-worth? Negative and limiting beliefs in any or all of these areas need to be uprooted, re-engineered, and replaced with positive beliefs in order to start moving forward.
It’s important to believe in yourself and to take risks. Holding a mind full of positive beliefs will support, encourage and propel you forward. When you start taking risks, jumping on opportunities and accepting challenges, amazing things begin to happen: an amazing life unfolds and at the center of that is an amazing person. That amazing person is you.
The 5 Mind and Energetic Mistakes That Cost You Thousands!
Our minds are the greatest tool we have and without the proper use of our mental energy, mental creativity and right mindset opportunities for mistakes arise. Those mistakes or missed opportunities lead to thousands of dollars in lost revenue and hundreds of hours of lost time.
Here are the mindset mistakes we make:
- Allowing others to steal your vision and your energy.
- Being overwhelmed because too many projects press on you that all seem important.
- Keeping the employee or contractor that is the least productive and who takes the greatest amount of your time.
- Refusal to delegate.
- Not asking for the money.
When your vision and purpose is getting interference from others is when you are at your weakest. This setting takes energy, time and money right out of our pockets.
Our mind creates the opportunity and it also creates the obstacle. When an obstacle is created by fear, we are imprinting that into every facet of our lives. We have many unhealthy mental beliefs that are important to release in order to achieve our highest potential and earn many thousands of dollars.
To step into your greatness and fullness of energy, mental clarity, and earning capacity and to achieve results, you must get clear minded. The clearer you are mentally the more clear your results. Better yet, the clearer your energy field is the more clear your mind and the more quickly the results just begin to appear.
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